Original Sin

So the quest for greater understanding continues...discovered last night that maybe I don't even realise what I am saved from...the law (curses of breaking the covenant- for Jews only??), 'original' sin, death...all the above..I think that maybe being Anglican, brought up Catholic may have something to do with my confusion...the importance of all this being, who I consider Jesus to be exactly..God, man, man-God, God-man, something else..did he have original sin? and if he did then doesn't that make our salvation nought...or on the other hand, what is 'original sin' is it the potential to sin, or spiritual death? Or is there no big concept of 'original sin' perse but rather we follow in the footsteps of Adam and his example (as the Eastern Church seems to purpose..or so I am told?) Many, many questions...guess the search continues tonight...

Every Mans Theology

'Every Christian is a theologian...Genuine theology cannot be reduced to a list of faith statements' (you know, the type you sign below when applying for a job, or a scholarship:)) Whoa! These statements were but a few that stayed with me long after I left my Systematic Theology class today. The teach was intense, the atmosphere in class seemed a mix between fear, wary confusion and nervous excitement, as we were bombarded by this crazy new guy, in his long flowing Indianesque garb, who happens to be something like an Orthodox, Complimentarian, Charismatic, Presbyterian, Paedobaptist, Evangelical, Calvinist, Reformed, Protestant Christian. Ok, he wasn't all that intense, but simply a 'little' overwhelming for some of us on the first day of class...He seemed a man driven to get us shook up out of our comfort zones. Whats so bad about comfort zones anyway? Anyway the point seemed to be 'get them shook up...get them thinking' then hopefully get us knowing and understanding and eventually being able to articulate and defend what we believe, and why we believe what we believe.
Realised, I have been ignorant of my Anglican roots, actually blissfully so...even though I am on the official 'roll'. Roots that I realise (though I often would like to deny it), greatly influence my faith and how I live it out today. Does it matter that much(as he seemed to imply)? When a time of testing comes(this time he did not imply but vehemently declared it would happen..just as it did about 8months ago I guess) will my faith stand...or will I be lost in the tide of confusion and compromise? Hhmm...excited/freaking out about this challenge to come!

Waiting to exhale

With bated breath, I write reviews on Christology in Africa, discuss Semantics and gradable antonyms (what does it really mean to say 'the word of Christ' verses ' words of Christ' in Colossians 3:16? Does it make a difference either way? When we go back to the 'original' language, will we find some profound differences to what we thought we knew that will change our faith forever? Or is it to make sure they(scholars) got it right the first time?...or maybe for African Christianity... continue to explore topics that no else wants to....like Genocide - 2 Samuel 21..or incest and rape 2 Sam 13…ever noticed how King David’s reign was just full of drama?) and cram for Greek tests and explore the meaning of the Kingdom of God and how it is manifest through the church in Africa today (Christianese for how the Kingdom of God is visible or apparent in Africa) with church meaning the people of God rather than an institution....the same church that supposedly makes up 80% of Kenyan citizenry...makes me begin to ask myself some hard questions about the health of the church in Kenya...we're not doing as well as we thought). The thing about holding your breath is that it makes living 100% kind of difficult. You don't really have the capacity to handle the usual weight and stress that life in its myriad of experiences throws at you (find yourself snappish, forgetful...consistently late...or you're just generally not as sweet as you'd like to be). But even in the 50% you’re operating in right now, life continues, and with the bated breath, there lies a glimmer of hope that threatens to kindle out of control. So every night, I watch the news, wondering can I exhale now? Should I be back to life as usual? Should I start celebrating yet? I may not be back in full swing, but with every breath there is a moment I pray that things won't go back to 'normal' but instead, things will change. So for now I live waiting to exhale.

Matthew 11: 28-30 NLT ‘Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light."

Ethnomusicality

Yesterday during my Sociology of Language class we had a guest speaker who is an Ethnomusicologist (studies the use of music in cultures/society) working with SIL (a Christian organization that does translation work). What was most interesting about this class was the variety of music we listened to. The styles were so dynamic, everything from 'talking drums' from Malawi (which literarily speak.....I knew the drum beats gave a message, but to realize that whenever the drums were hit, it wasn’t just an amorphous message like "Come, its time to pray", or 'HELP!' but watched a video which showed that it is actually a detailed surrogate language, where words are differentiated according to the different tones of the drum which are adjusted according to the tightening of some ropes, so one man was drumming and another man was actually translating what the drummist was saying 'crusade style' giving specific instructions and messages like 'Praise God my soul....the Lord reigns from on high'...it was mind-blowing!), to tonal languages in Siberia where we listened to a song that had only one word which was sang at the end of the song, but the song mainly comprised of the sound of water running in a stream and a man making a type of water sound with his voice that fluctuated up and down forming different notes and tones, all this the people from that particular tribe can understand and interpret into the story of the song! Music, is a tool of communication, it speaks for a people, reflecting their culture, their beliefs, their heart, their essence.
Growing up listening to Mother Gooses songs, graduating to Cool and the Gang, Michael Jackson (remember 'Off the wall' ) all the way to being sucked into the Wonderful world of Rock sampling the likes of Aerosmith, through to U2....Music that embodied the culture and expression of my people did not exist for me, the most I heard of Kikuyu music was in matatus or family/community events like weddings and funerals, where in both, the style had a distinct 'western flavor' , such as Kikuyu Hymns which are actually English Hymns translated into Kikuyu, or just didn’t count considering 'werokamu!...wakinya....sitidowni!' ...is....well it has a lot of borrowed words. (..I never heard a Kikuyu traditional song at the Music festivals as a child..which I really didn’t participate in, expect to play the guitar!) Sitting there in class was just absolutely amazing, as I listened to a myriad of expressions of the soul and the hearts of a people, expressions that were different, actually quite weird sometimes, but authentic nonetheless...it just did not fit into my narrow experience. In fact the amazement I had slowly turned to a distinctly saddening feeling ...I found I was startled to discover that even with the advent of vernacular FM stations, the language(s) may be alive, but is the music dead? Though I am African, somehow I suddenly felt I was unethnic! Could this be true? Is that actually a possibility. Yes, I may not speak the language, but I still consider myself a Kikuyu, a Kenyan, an African, but what makes me these things apart from the color of my skin, my kinky hair, my name and the location of my house? Is that enough? Yes, culture is dynamic and changing, and we definitely can't (and don't want to) go back to cow hides and cowrie shells, but if music with its rhythms and tones, melodies and harmonies is a reflection of a part of ourselves, then have we lost a part of us?...do we care? And even if we do....considering many of us grew up in this New Africa, would a rediscovery of our past be a reclamation of our real self or just a neocolonialism of the New African by our education, desiring a connection to the tarnished 'glory' of the past, enslaving us to chasing a wind that can never be captured?

Adventures in Pink!

The trip to school has become much more fun with the acquisition of my new bike...The walk was always fun, but in a bid to get a bit more exercise...in fact a lot more exercise considering was getting absolutely none before I got the bike...thought this would help me along in that direction...not to mention it would reduce my commute time by half, which is good for some of us recovering chronic late comers (Hi! My name is Njeri and am a CLC).

So anyway about 4 months ago started saving in earnest and 3 weeks ago, gathered what I had and pooled my resources with Angela (my sister...who agreed to split the costs and now rides on the weekends) and got us the cutest pink bike.

Buying the bike was quite an adventure...went to Nakumatt, picked out the girlest i could find, then they spent around 20 minutes trying to get the proper pump...eventually the Nakumatt attendants brought me this shinny new bike for me to try out. Now have heard people say things like ...'its like riding a bike, you never forget' but for some reason when they presented the bike to me, I wasnt too sure about that. Ciku (aka baby sis) was with me, so tried to convince her to try it out, she adamantly refused...wondering why I had pulled her out of the comfortable pose she was lounging in at home, dragged her to Nakumatt to buy a bike, then refused to test it. So here we were arguing back and forth over who should try the bike, with Nakumatt chaps looking on, watching like us a tennis match.

Eventually realised my silliness and plucked up my courage and managed to haul myself over the bike and arrange myself pecariously on the seat, with the Nakumatt attendant helping me out holding the bike in place. Eventually after a few false starts he started me off...note the bikes at Nakumatt in Karen are parked right beside the glassware and crockery...so I gingerly set off....and wobbled, wobbled....wobbled for about 1/2 a meter! Disaster! but figured, we had been there for about an hour, the Nakumatt chaps had done so much work getting the bike ready...I couldnt turn back now..I had to take the bike. So dusted off my thoroughly worn pride and bit the bullet.

So the next day got on the bike, scared out of my wits and wobbled off..around the round about outside our home, once, twice...Yipee! I'm not dead yet! and wobbled off down the road....making it to school ....very sweaty, shaky but in one piece.

Been riding for 3 weeks now...still alive, less wobbly and alot less sweaty...Praise God for lifes little adventures...learning new things everyday, this months lesson...Risk or Rust!

Philippians 3:12-16 (NLT)
I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. I hope all of you who are mature Christians will agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. But we must be sure to obey the truth we have learned already.

Fun at Seminary

Is it strange that I think I am actually having fun at Seminary.....is that actually possible? or is my version of fun...not.....
I often wonder if I am enjoying myself too much...and what does that make me?..a hoax? am I somehow being unauthentic...to the "real me". For example would it be considered fun to discuss the existence of diglossia* in Kenya for 2 hours (out of class, over coffee, wrestling with questions like 'does it exist here in Kenya....1 hour .....is sheng a language? hour 2) and leave thinking "that was so interesting...can't wait for tomorrows class!...Yey!"
The reason I wonder about this is that this is from the same person who just three years ago, around this time of year would be sitting planning "Exactly how much tummy should I show in my television show in order to keep my male audience watching, while not scaring off 'serious' advertisers...hhmm is my tummy as flat as my competition? Its okay she's got buckteeth..teeheehee, oooh I wonder if we're getting comps to the new club thats openning tonight???"
This thing I now call my life is sometimes so shockingly different, I wonder 'did time slow down over the last 3 years, giving me time to change my character, my priorities, my dreams, ambitions, friendships....somehow....all in the span of 36 months?...or is the real me on sabbatical about to rear her not so ugly head again when I least expect it?' Is change, lasting change, just a matter of decision..then..it happens. Or is it more complex? does change just happen like that...dorothy clicking her heels twice and wishing really hard, then in a twinkling she's somewhere else? Is this new me home? or am I just visiting? Is Njeri, the real Njeri the person she wants to be or the person she is? If what I want to be is what I present to everyone, is that really me, or a cover version?....(on that note is a cover version of a song still the same song? or is it something else? Or when they remade Oceans 11, is it still Oceans 11, or does the presence of Brad Pitt and George Clooney somehow make it Oceans 11.1?)
Then where is God in all this? Am I a NEW CREATION VERSION 1, batch 2003.19.10 with extra Christianese personality plug ins, or is my personality, the character that is me (SHAPE and all) allow for some original Njeri to stay without tainting the "NEW CREATION NJERI VERSION 1.1? Do we have to lose ourselves to find ourselves? or am I thinking too much about this, and should I just be.....as they say?

Today is my 3rd birthday as a believer (or rather the day I adopted to commerate the beginning of this journey 3 years ago), on this adventure, self discovery has been transformed to self reclamation. Its availability to God's renovation. A reclamation of the original image, that which I was intended to be, discovered from the prototype.




*Diglossia as I understand it is two versions of one language that exist, used for different functions (eg the formal version for education, the nonformal one in the home...on that note just had a test on this Sociology of Language stuff....the test was not so fun..).